As you’re beginning your wedding planning journey, one of the biggest decisions to make regarding your timeline is whether to have a first look with your partner or not. You’ll probably hear that a first look is the best option for an easier timeline or better photos. While first looks offer an amazing opportunity for some really sweet photos and more flexibility in your timeline, those things are not always everyone’s priority on their wedding day (which is TOTALLY okay!) After photographing dozens of weddings with and without first looks (and having a first look myself), I wanted to give a little bit of insight on my favorite reasons to have a first look that don’t have to do with your photos or timeline. Below are some of the biggest reasons that I think first looks are amazing, not just for your timeline, but for your entire wedding day experience as a couple. They’re also some of the most common reasons that my couples regret not doing a first look. If you’re on the fence whether or not do do a first look, keep reading!
My top reason that I love first looks is so that you can enjoy your wedding day together. Ultimately, this day is about celebrating your love and the covenant that you two are making to one another. Imagine spending 75% of your wedding day trying to avoid seeing the person you’re marrying! This isn’t as major of an issue if you’re planning a morning or midday ceremony, but if your ceremony is in the evening, you’ll only get to spend a couple of precious hours on your wedding day alongside one another. As someone who got married at 4 in the afternoon, I remember thinking that our wedding day had already felt so like the longest day ever, and we weren’t even married yet! Then, I realized if we hadn’t done a first look, I would have spent all of that time away from my husband-to-be! Not to mention, time moves SO quickly after your ceremony. If you think you’ll get to spend time together and talk after your ceremony, think again. Everyone will want to talk, hug, and congratulate you and your new spouse, so unless you plan it just right, you won’t get an opportunity to spend quality time together until your wedding day is already over. First looks allow you to soak in all of the sweet wedding day memories together, rather than having to fill one another in on how your individual wedding days went on the drive home.
First looks allow for real, raw emotions and authentic reactions. A big reason that couples don’t want to do a first look is because they want their significant other to cry as they walk down the aisle. First, it’s SO much easier to display deep emotion privately to the person you love most in the world than having 100+ eyes staring into your soul, waiting for your reaction to seeing one another for the first time. I’ve talked to many grooms who feel anxious because of the pressure put on them to cry when they see their bride-to-be in front of all their guests. Putting the pressure of crying in public on our partner isn’t super fair to them, is it? Secondly, a first look leaves room for the “you look beautiful; I didn’t expect your dress to have sleeves!” comments and “I can’t believe it’s our wedding day; how do you feel?!” conversations rather than only being able to whisper a couple of words to one another at the end of the aisle. Lastly, after photographing dozens of weddings and having a first look myself, let me be the first to tell you that the feeling of seeing each other on your wedding day for the first time and walking down the aisle to your forever person elicits two very different emotions. I have also never seen a couple cry at a first look and then not cry as they walk down the aisle – people typically cry at both, or at neither.
Seeing, talking with, and hugging your favorite person will calm your nerves like nothing else. If you’re anything like me, it might feel like over-caffeinated butterflies are doing cartwheels in your stomach the morning of your wedding. On the morning of my own wedding, I was so nervous that I couldn’t eat the beautiful breakfast my mom had prepared or put on my fake eyelashes because my hands were so shaky. After seeing my husband and getting to spend time with him, I was able to relax, enjoy the rest of our day before our ceremony, and finally scarf down a sandwich. Doing a first look with undoubtedly relax you, calm your nerves, and give you the peace you need to fully enjoy your wedding day without the pre-ceremony anxiety.
With all of that being said, YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE A FIRST LOOK IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO!! I wholeheartedly support whatever decision that you make for your wedding day, and believe it’s SO important to not compromise your dream day vision. I just want to ensure you’re 1000% confident in your decision, and the reasons listed are the main reasons I hear couples regret not having a first look. If you’re set on not seeing one another until you walk down the aisle, I think that’s amazing and definitely what you should do! Some really sweet first-look alternatives I’ve seen include seeing one another early in the morning before you have your wedding attire on, writing letters to one another the morning-of, or a first touch! If you decide to opt against it all and save everything for your ceremony, I support you completely. I am committed to upholding your wedding day vision and cheering you on, whatever your day looks like. If you ever have any questions, concerns, or thoughts regarding a first look, I’m always here and want to be a resource throughout your entire wedding planning process!
Ready to chat about your wedding day vision? I would LOVE to document your special day and help in any way that I can! Reach out below and let’s be friends! I can’t wait to meet you!